


I think I broke my ribs from this,

by mageknight



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: One Shot, Transgender Characters, i didnt want to make it a tag but hilda and claude are implied
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-30
Updated: 2019-09-30
Packaged: 2020-11-07 23:43:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20825783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mageknight/pseuds/mageknight
Summary: Ignatz is weird, as Ignatz should be. This being said, Claude does have a certain concern over his housemates, and to just know a bit more about him would put him at ease. It isn't so helpful however that Ignatz's family history is entangled in nondescript information, and that he himself is a panicked mess.





	I think I broke my ribs from this,

**Author's Note:**

> ((uggghhhhg i wanted to write a fic about ignatz being trans since before the game came out cause like come on. look at him.  
im. im okay with this but i feel like it could be better i just dnt know how to pick up the pieces. and yes, the ending does imply two trans characters.

"Oh, Hilda," Ignatz spotted her at the other end of the reception hall, staring absentmindedly into the distance. "Hilda!" He called again, loud enough to get her attention now. Ignatz flew across the tiled floor right up to her, the two staring at each other eye to eye. Ignatz had a few bags in tow, clean and freshly tied from the days share of shopping through town.

"Huh?" She at first fluttered her eyes, "What's up Ignatz?" His grass like hair had a few loose strands sticking up every which way, but he had his usual kind and elated smile. 

"One second," he said, placing one of the bags at his feet, "I picked up those geodes you asked for," Ignatz was already knelt over untying the load and to give Hilda her polished gifts, "you were right! They really are a sight to behold, I'm sure the charm you're making will look great." He gently took Hilda's hand and softly placed the smooth stones in her hand, where they shimmered and reflected in a wide array of colors.

It took a second for Hilda to even remember she asked a favor of Ignatz. However, the little pink and purple stones being sold by a travelling merchant off at town caught her eyes when she saw Dorothea with one. But, it would take awhile to take herself down there, so she gave Ignatz a small sum of change and asked him to pick them up. Though, she did say he could do it whenever he gets the chance, and it wasn't even two hours later.

So she rolled the stones in her hand a bit amazed. "Wow," she was pleasantly surprised, "you didn't have to get this so soon, Ignatz!"

"Oh, don't worry Hilda." Ignatz said, "After we finished talking I stopped by the Cathedral to help out the priests, they send me on supply runs a lot. I was nearby, so I did it right away." He giggled slightly as he pulled out a less posh, but equally colorful few rocks, "I also found these for very cheap. You could buy as much pigment out of this for four times the price! It was too good to pass up." He nodded, tying the bag back up with a warm smile. "Oh, here," Ignatz dropped some coins back into Hilda's still extended hands, "your change. Probably should return that."

The two looked at each other for a moment. Ignatz had a truly delighted smile on his face, it was clear that he wanted nothing more than to help Hilda. "Well, thank you so much!" Hilda laughed along with him, "I owe you one, Iggy."

He ruffled the back of his hair a bit, his cheeks dusted with red. "It's no problem Hilda, don't worry about me." He smiled, but the slight inward pinch of his brow was enough to express that he was uncomfortable. "But," he said, politely, "can we just leave it as 'Ignatz?'"

"Oh?" Hilda asked, lips pierced, "Okay, do you not like my nicknames?" She wasn't really that hurt, but she liked to mess with him. "Most boys take it as a blessing."

"Ah, no, not like that!" Ignatz stammered, sounding more like his frenzied self. "It's nothing you said, but I just like my name as is." He told Hilda, turning to his feet. "I like it as 'Ignatz.'" She only caught a slight glimpse of his copper shining eyes before he started walking past. "I should unload these supplies, I'll see you later Hilda."

"Oh, uh," Hilda tried to say something, but was left behind by Ignatz. "Alright, bye!"

"That was odd." Hilda said to herself, still playing with the rocks and coins in her hand. They clinked and tapped in her hand very satisfyingly, and she felt cheery again at the thought of shiny hair pins and necklaces. It was also enough for her to not notice someone come up from behind her.

"What's up with him?" Whistled the familiar voice of Claude von Reigen. Hilda cupped her hands and span around, eyes wide. She saw Claude and frowned, but like the playful frown of a jester.

"Do you spend all your time sneaking up on others, Claude?" Hilda snapped.

"It’s the easiest way to get close quarters with you, isn’t it Hilda?” Claude laughed with a wave of his hand. He looked at Hilda’s closed up hands, and grinned, “Did a certain someone get you a present? I’d be shocked to hear that Ignatz bought you a ring or something of his own fruition.” Before Hilda could reply, Claude very gently separated her dainty hands and unfolded her fingers.

She giggled. “I told him to pick up some stuff for my charms is all.” She shook her head. Realizing that Claude actually saw the whole thing, she shot him a bemused look. With a cocky hint to her tone, she asked “Was he acting weird?” Claude smiled, and led Hilda out the hall. The sunlight illuminated the two of them with beauty, warmth slowly creeping up their skin. Claude motioned Hilda closer, and she laid her head against his shoulder.

“Ignatz is always a bit weird,” Claude whispered, “Between you and me, I’m trying to learn more about him.” Hilda gave him a slightly agitated pout, and Claude dropped his cheeky smile. “I know you’re no help to me,” Claude said. “You don’t have to look at me like that.”

She cuddled up closer to his arm, ignoring the churchgoers passing them by with concerned looks. “Sure, fine you can do that.” Hilda said, “Why should I care though?”

Claude’s voice dropped as soft as he could get it, “I got some copies of records.” He looked at Hilda, wide eyed and hyping himself up. “I can’t find a birth certificate for him.”

“Claude!” She shoved him away from her, both chuckling. Claude quickly ran back and the two wrestled a little between the bushes. Claude reached back and took a strand of hair out of her pigtails, and that was enough to end the play fight. Hilda went to fix her hair, “I understand that you want to know more about him, but you probably shouldn’t be digging up someone's legal history.” Claude brushed it off, but nodded in a contradiction.

“I was just saying,” Claude attested, “he’s picky about his name? I can’t find his birth certificate?” He walked backwards from the disheveled Hilda, shrugging his shoulders. “Catch you later, Hilda.” 

* * *

Claude waltzed along the side of the wall of the monastery, eyeing the two boys training in the open field. Lorenz’s horse patted harshly against the ground in anticipation, and he span his lance like a lariat at his side. Ignatz, in his usual combat get up, was slouched over with a nervous look on his face. “If I come too close to hurting you, Lorenz, please tell me.” Ignatz called over to him, “You know I don’t want to.”

Lorenz shook his head, smiling at Ignatz’s hesitation. “It’s just a training bow, I’ll be fine if anything goes wrong.” Lorenz held his head up high and sneered, “Besides, I should be fully capable of learning this close dodging method. It’s nothing too serious.” Something about Lorenz’s intense pride and confidence lifted a sense of anxiety off of Ignatz’s weak heart, and he knocked the first arrow to begin their session. “I’ll get some momentum, then don’t hold back!” Lorenz loudly announced. Claude was having a good time watching their overdramatic training hour.

Lorenz’s horse stomped by, quickly jumping to full speed without effort. Ignatz lined up a shot with the torso of the steed, and snapped the bowstring with a loud smacking sound. At that instant, Lorenz dug his spear into the hard ground, cutting off the inertia completely. Thus, as he had practiced, the horse jumped in a short u-turn, evading the arrow shot with time to spare. Lorenz rolled by passing Ignatz on the other side, who was staring at the sheer grace in Lorenz’s movements. “Again!” Lorenz called out to Ignatz, swinging back for another round. Claude’s head flipped back and forth, honestly impressed by the both of them. While Lorenz was definitely the eyecatcher, moving in perfect sync with his ride, he also had to applaud Ignatz on his accuracy. He was very precise with every shot, and it made Lorenz’s training very consistent.

They went on with this routine for awhile, stopping for a brief moment now and again before Lorenz went at it again, even faster than before. It was, possibly, too fast, as Ignatz was struggling to knock his arrows fast enough with Lorenz’s pace. Yet he tried his best to keep up, ripping out another arrow for the set up. He leaned to the left, and took a finicky shot. The arrow didn’t even come close to Lorenz, and Ignatz lurched onto the ground; All on account of losing his balance from the faulty shot. Lorenz’s attention was taken by the messed up arrow itself and if he had done something wrong to be so far ahead of it. But, while looking back, he felt something get crushed under his horse. He immediately pulled to a stop, in which he finally saw Ignatz laying behind him in his path. Lorenz screamed, carelessly dismounting from the nervous horse and sprinting up to Ignatz. 

Claude, shaken by watching Ignatz get trampled by a horse twice his size, also ran over to them. In his full sprint, he could hear Lorenz panicking. “I didn’t see you, can you move? Is anything broken, Ignatz?” He rolled the pained Ignatz onto his left side. He was wincing, clutching his chest and curling up very tight under Lorenz’s arms. He whined in pain, letting Lorenz help prop him up against his lap. When Claude came close enough, Lorenz still didn’t notice him, eyes darting with horror. “What’s wrong, talk to me please.”

“Lorenz.” Claude finally piped up from behind. Lorenz was surprised at Claude’s sudden appearance but didn’t question it when he saw him swinging a vulnerary from his cloak. He got on his knees next to him, and immediately forced it down Ignatz’s throat without much of a warning. He gasped for relief as Claude pulled the bottle back from his lips, with an acute heat filling up his torso from the fast acting medicine. He stroked the side of Ignatz’s washed face to comfort him, “Where’s it hurt buddy?”

Ignatz pulled together some form of composure, “It just got me once on my side.” He was fighting back tears, and clutching at the right side of his chest. 

Claude, concerned, pressed on, “Let me see.” He reached to help Ignatz with his vest to get a closer look at the injury, but he quickly recoiled and balled up against Lorenz.

“No!” Ignatz shouted loudly, startling Lorenz who was still holding him. “Please, please just take me to Manuela.” His voice was so tantalized with agony as he leaned into his beat up ribs. Claude backed off at him shouting, and he was surprised Ignatz didn’t want immediate help. But, he kept a calm face and nodded to Lorenz to help bring him back. 

Lorenz lifted Ignatz to his shaking feet, and helped him walk to the same horse that had just ran him down. He spoke very kindly to him, “I’m sorry that I put you through this. Let’s make sure you’re going to be alright before anything else, okay?” It did help calm Ignatz down, but he seemed to be edging away from Lorenz trying to rub his shoulder out of comfort. “Does that hurt?” He asked, full of worry.

Ignatz paused, not answering right away. He had that nervous look on his face from earlier in the day, and said “Yes, it hurts, yes.” Despite everything he just witnessed however, Claude found himself believing that that one statement was a lie. He wouldn’t let Claude or Lorenz too close to him, and he thought it over and over again as he watched Lorenz take off back to the stables. 

“Really is so much for talking to him right now.” Claude sighed, wishing that his didn’t have to have happened. He thought over Ignatz for awhile in that field, feeling glad that wasn’t any smears of blood to remind him of earlier. “If he’s not even gonna let me help him, I probably don’t have much of a chance to learn more about him.” Claude sat there, and sat in disgust at his own terrible joke he was about to make. “Not from the horse’s mouth… I’m awful.”

He finally started walking back into the marble walls of the monastery, because he did have a backup in case Ignatz wasn’t going to be willing to tell him anything.

* * *

"Raphael." Claude greeted his friend and classmate in passing down the strip of cobble along the dormitory exits. He was off coming back from the training grounds, probably, and Claude was off to get into things that weren't his business, probably.

The two had enough time to stop and chat though, his dorm was the fourth down anyways. Raphael cheered to Claude's delight, "Hey Claude! How's it going." With that, both raised their hands and slapped them together to an exceptionally meaty reception. Claude would think he had well cared for masculine hands, and then he looked at someone specialized in gauntlet warfare like Raphael and felt as dainty as a maid. His palms were hard as leather and knuckles were bruised or cut usually, not to mention he was probably going at it barefisted. 

Claude didn't let this phase him however, Raphael and him were on good terms. That's why he took no worries in saying "I'm good, I'm good. Watched your best friend of 11 years get trampled by a horse today." He wound back his hand before Raphael could react, because he honestly expected him to explode.

Raphael was taken aback, eyes a-flutter while he tried to comprehend all that. "W-What?" He stuttered, as he often did when nervous. Claude side stepped behind him and began to push him from the back, coaxing him forth. “Ignatz…?” He questioned, walking as Claude directed him back into his dorm.

“Yup, Ignatz, we’re gonna talk about Ignatz, totally.” Claude shoved him into the dorm and pulled the door closed with his heel. Raphael shook his head, a bit off put from Claude’s sense of nonchalance. He more of just didn’t want to make a scene if anything. At least there was no one to see behind a closed door.

Raphael pulled himself away from Claude, which he could have done that entire time. Turning with a snap, he questioned Claude, “What are talking about right now?” Claude put his hands out, placing one against Raphael’s chest impulsively. Despite the glaringly obvious outfit malfunctions, it was kind of easy to forget his skin was right there. It was somewhat of a tension killer for both of them, feeling Claude’s soft palm against his chest. Raphael swatted him off and spoke calmly, “Enough of your beating around the issue, it’s not like I’m going to freak out.”

“Ah, goddess, thanks.” Claude huffed. He didn’t expect anything to go wrong, but it was nice to hear. He sighed, and looked away, “Ig is fine, really. He was apparently well enough to walk and refuse help until he could get to Manuela. He’ll be okay, no worries.”

“Ignatz.” Raphael corrected, without much emotion. “I’m glad to hear it at least. If that’s all, can I go see him?” There it was again, forcing Ignatz to be called, well, Ignatz. It reminded him that maybe he could get some info out of Raphael. 

“Yeah, but I was gonna ask you something else before this all went down.” Claude said, with his concerned acting voice. He gave Raphael a bit of a side eye, and asked away. “Can you tell me a bit about Ignatz and his family.”

“Uh.” Raphael mumbled. He rested his chin into his fist and thought for a second. “Yeah, but why do you care?” Raphael replied. They both stood there quietly, not able to think of anything to say. Claude could only really smile and shrug, he didn’t actually have a good work around for this. Raphael cocked his brows, and sighed. “I’ll give you a basic run down, but it won’t be much. Also, just don’t do anything stupid.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it, big guy.” Claude assured him.

Raphael nodded, and looked to the ceiling. “Ignatz’s family likes to keep their personal affairs to themselves, hell, I hardly got to talk to his older brother sometimes.” He closed his eyes softly and hummed, “From what I could always gather though, they always had a problem with Ignatz. Whatever he tried or did, he never could really please them. There was an ‘underhanded’ reason to be against him.”

“Do you know why that is?” Claude asked.

Raphael rubbed the back of his head and clicked against the roof mouth. “Listen, I’d love to help you, but I can’t say much more.” He said, “If anything, ask Ignatz yourself.” He looked downward, away from where Claude could see. “Truth be told,” He began, “Ignatz means an awful lot to me. I really wouldn’t like to go spilling stuff about his life without his permission.”

“I get that.” Claude said, not phased. “Ok, if we’re telling the truth, the reason I’m digging for this stuff is that kid worries me.” He admitted, “Ignatz is so skittish and secretive, I can’t help but wonder what’s going on in his head.” He trailed off with a devilish grin on his face.

“Claude, most people don’t care to hear it, but you wanna know what I think?” Raphael said.

“What is it?” Claude replied.

“You’re going about this all wrong.” Raphael told him. “Did you immediately assume that Ignatz wouldn’t tell you anything so you could get to know him better?” Claude’s grin popped off his face real quick. Whenever Raphael gave out any of his genuinely good insight, it could catch people off guard. “I’ll do you a favor,” Raphael said, “I’ll go see Ignatz, and while I’m there I’ll tell him you have some questions for him. Then, I’ll come get you, and you can go see him for yourself.” Raphael didn’t really leave any choice to Claude however, as he started out right away. “And, don’t try to dance around something happening to Ignatz, or anyone for that matter, again.”

"Why?"

"Because I care too much, and I'm sure everyone else does too." Raphael quickly answered.

Claude stood there and mulled over it, eventually laughing a little. "Oh, Kirsten," he droned on in a fake dramatic voice, "why must you always ever be so intellectual when we don't need it?"

Raphael grunted and rolled his eyes, but still found himself smiling in the end. He matched Claude's inherent sarcasm, "I try my best not to think for the sake of everyone else involved." He turned back round and looked into the later afternoon sky. "Catch you later, Claude."

* * *

Time passed for awhile, and it passed again and again for hours at a time. The slightest little slivers of sunlight were all that were left when Claude was talking to Lorenz and the professor when he caught sight of Raphael at the other end of the hall near the cathedral. One simply nodded to the other, and Claude quickly excused himself, taking the opportunity to exit stage right upstairs.

He walked the few doors down to the infirmary and heard nothing, not even the iconic click of a heel against stone. Surely enough, peering in revealed no signs of Manuela, and all the moved was the bundle of young man and blankets in a cot against the wall. Claude smiled, he probably had quite some time before Manuela elected to return to work. She could even be on a date, and this he could stay for as long as he liked. So, Claude stepped in and stood in the middle of the room quietly.

He spoke quickly, and admittedly a bit loudly, "Ignatz, if you're asleep say something!" With a shriek, Ignatz thundered up under his blankets with a start. He gently poked his head out, the rest of his body still draped in sheets, and sleepily stared into nothingness. It was nothingness of course because Ignatz didn't have his glasses, and he squinted at Claude's figure trying to put together what was going on. Claude clapped his hands at the sight of him, "Yeah! Good work!"

"Claude?" The sleepy Ignatz asked, fishing behind his pillows for his glasses. He plucked them out and put them on, rubbing his eyes before doing so. With that however, Ignatz exhaled a load of his own agony and sunk back into the bed spread while looking at Claude, groaning in pain. "Why are you here?"

"I came to see if you were okay, obviously." Claude said. He came up next to Ignatz and bent over slightly, gently rubbing a hand against his back. "Do you have that little faith in me?" Claude joked.

"No, not like that at all!" Ignatz gasped. He fumbled over his words for a moment before continuing. "I just figured that you wouldn't have to come see me, this is eating into your time." Ignatz admitted.

"Ah, come on. We know I have nothing to be doing." Claude said, grinning at Ignatz. "And between us," he smiled, "I worry about all my deer-fawns alike." He used the outstretched arm on Ignatz's back to slide into a hug while on top of him. Ignatz shifted under the embrace, turning his entire face and body further into the cot away from Claude. While it was sweet, Claude bent further in and whispered, "But I do have to ask you something, okay?" 

Ignatz didn't stir for a moment, it was wholly quiet. He eventually whispered back, "Okay." He choked down a lump in his throat however, "But, please, stop touching me Claude."

"My bad" he laughed. He slid off of Ignatz and squatted at the side of the cot, making eye contact with him. Seeing Claude smile did cheer him up a bit, even if he was still aching. Claude began, "Okay Ignatz, I want to understand you, truly. But, you leave a lot up in the air with the way you act versus the things you say." Ignatz's eyes lowered at that statement. It must have been obvious that he didn't feel capable in what he said he aspired for, and his faulty confidence didn't help. 

"I guess all I want to ask is, tell me about you. Who is Ignatz? Why are you the way you are?" Claude put a hand against his cheek and grinned, "How did we end up with such a skittish but enthusiastic person like you?" 

Ignatz laid there unresponsive for a moment. He spoke to himself, "If I could tell the professor, I could tell you too." He took a deep breath, and started from wherever felt comfortable. "I guess I get so panicked and worked up over myself because that's how I've always been. You know I'm a second son, you know I have an awkward family dynamic."

"I think them going against you constantly surpasses awkward, as a word of advice." Claude interjected. Ignatz looked at him, a bit surprised that he knew that. Claude didn't wait for him to ask, "I did some light digging before I decided to ask you, I'm sorry."

Ignatz looked at Claude's genuinely merciful face, and nodded. "It's okay." He said, "You truly did mean well." Ignatz thought over what to say for a moment, he was worried about saying something he didn't mean. "I was raised a runt. I'm not the most important one and I get no free shots. I get so antsy over the idea of being enough and pleasing those around me because that’s how I lived for a long time. To just make people happy is hard enough as is.”

Claude closed his eyes and nodded. He slumped further back into his knees and landed back onto the floor, now sitting casually. Ignatz was looking down to see him, but it felt much more comfortable and friendly to see Claude sat with his legs sprawled out, rubbing his chin in thought. He chuckled a bit over Claude’s actions, and Claude fluttered his eyes open to look at him. “I get you.” He said, “Just one more thing though,” Ignatz nodded, it felt nice to take some weight off his troubled conscious like this. “Parents don’t just hate their second kid from the get go, unless they’re lunatics or something. Is there a reason you know of for all of this?”  
Ignatz’s warm expression very quickly grew cold and despondent. His eyes glazed into a vacant stare, and he couldn’t think properly for a moment. Yet, he felt pressured to spit something out all the same. “I don’t think -- I can’t bring myself to tell you that.” His voice sank into a whisper, “I’m sorry Claude.”

Claude felt disappointed, but he understood he shouldn’t press forth without reason. “It’s fine Ignatz.” He said, and rose to his feet with a quick bounce and a stretch. He looked over his shoulder after turning his back to Ignatz, and wished he could know more. Yet, Claude began to walk out, shedding his own hopes of comprehension and sympathy.

And not a moment too soon, Ignatz whined so softly, “But how I want to.” Claude stopped, and barely looked back to his friend in the bedding. “Claude,” He began again, “you’re my house leader and someone I care for. I want to tell you so much, but confessions horrify me beyond words.” Ignatz, hands cupping the blanket to the crown of his bosom, finally sat up in the cot. “I’m not a normal person Claude, and I want to say it so loudly and so frantically.” 

He came back over, hovering over Ignatz as he hid his frail body from Claude. A look of concern had overtaken Ignatz completely, and he hated to see him so worried. “What do you mean?” Claude asked, wanting to be welcomed into his mindset.

Ignatz said nothing, and he motioned Claude closer. He stepped up, placing a hand on the frame of it for balance, and Ignatz looked at him; shivering with terror and shining with hope. Gently, Ignatz opened the slightest gap between him and the sheet clothing him. Claude could now see the injury, seeming to have only been announced by a nasty few bruises. However, he also understood the pressures Ignatz had been feeling as he looked at the specifics of Ignatz’s upper chest. Ignatz could not even look himself, “I was not born a man, Claude. All I ask for is your acceptance, please.”

Claude overlaid his hand with Ignatz’s, and covered his bare chest up again. “Of your own comfort, Mr. Victor.” Claude teased him, smiling to calm Ignatz of his nerves. “Listen, thank you.” Ignatz stared at him, emotional and confused over this response. Claude was very gentle with his tone, “I know I can be a prick to you now and again, but you don’t have to be so worried about keeping secrets from me. Especially with such taxing stuff like this.” He raised a stray hand over Ignatz, and lightly stroked the back of his hair. “The people here care for you, we aren’t gonna throw you out or reject you any time soon.”

“You’re right, as always.” Ignatz sighed, feeling much less troubled. “I suppose I just needed to get the truth off my chest…” Ignatz laughed, “Off my chest, I’m terrible.” 

Claude snickered as well. “Yes, yes you are.” He stepped back and folded his arms. “Alright, you’ve been through enough physical and emotional distress today. I think I should let you get to bed.” Claude was walking backwards out the room, sneering like a demon until he bumped up against something about the same size as him.

“Yes, maybe you should.” Claude span around, horrified to be met with a slightly disheveled Manuela coming back so soon. He couldn’t bring himself to say anything, he just stared in terror. “You know, students aren’t allowed to sneak into the infirmary, especially when I’m not even on the monastery grounds.” Manuela barked at him. Claude might have said something, but she walked right past him giving him no such attention. “Ignatz,” She said sweetly, “is he bothering you?” 

Ignatz chuckled, “No professor, really he’s not.” He smiled as Claude quickly made his way out of the room to avoid any further confrontation. “Let’s just say I had a repeat of a conversation I had with you, minus your own understanding insight, of course.” 


End file.
